Freestyle Fridays are my free for all day. A day to post about whatever pops into my brain. Today, I've been thinking about laundry. Also, baking. What else? Believe it or not, makeup. Not just the business of it, which is important to me because it's my business, but the "why" of it.
Why do I sell it? Why do I wear it? What difference does it make? What does it do for me? Does it matter?
Well, it's like this. I used to think it didn't matter. I used to think it was unimportant. I used to think it had no affect on me one way or the other.
In my teens and young adult life, I rarely wore makeup. Special occasions and some dates. Not all dates, mind you, but some. I didn't care about my appearance. I was too busy living and loving my life. Too busy going to school, going to work, going to college, getting married, having babies. So many other things to do that didn't include worrying about how I looked.
My mother tried so hard to get me to wear makeup. Wear a skirt. Brush my hair. 😊 I was a tom boy of the first order. My friends wore makeup. My friends fixed their hair. I would start each new season with the greatest intentions. This semester I'm going to wear makeup every day. This month I'm going to take better care of my skin. This time...
If you are at all like me, life catches you and thrusts you forward at warp speed. One moment you are graduating high school. The next, your babies are graduating college. That's how fast it went. I didn't blink more than twice. Honest. While pursuing my career and taking care of the munchkins and supporting my hubs, I forgot something. I lived my young adult life and loved it all. I just forgot something. Me.
I forgot that I am worth taking care of. I never had any health issues, the hubs loves me no matter my size, shape, or adornment. That is the blessing that has been my life. Throughout all of it, I focused so hard on my family and my career, that I never gave myself much of a second thought.
The hubs retired from the Air Force and we moved. Far away from my family. Far away from my career. Far away from my kids. Suddenly, my life was quiet and still and there was no one for me to focus on except myself. Wow. Hey self.
I love keeping house. I love cooking. I love all of it. Also, I need something to focus on. I've been working, outside the home, in a high pressure career, balancing family and home and work for 20+ years. Now I have home, housework, and quiet time.
So my friend Rachel and I were talking one evening and she has this great business she loves doing. I'm thinking...that's cool. Something for me to focus on. Something to help occupy my mind. Something fun to do when the hubs is at work. Sweet. I'll give it a try. The only issue? It was a business selling makeup. I don't wear makeup. I don't know much about makeup. Well, learning new stuff is fun, so let's go for it!!
I get my starter kit and start playing around with it. I start wearing makeup. I do it every day. I like it. Hey...my face looks pretty good. Check me out. I'm getting a little better at it each day. Something began to change. I didn't realize it at first, but a change was happening. I started to notice my clothes. I started to notice my weight. (Oy...when had THAT gotten so out of control?) I started noticing how I walked and talked. I'd always been confident in my brain. I'd always known I could do anything I put my mind to. Now I was starting to feel good about how I looked. I could do any thing I put my mind to AND I didn't have to look like a slob while doing it. I was pulling it off. I was becoming one of those people who care about the face they put forward. I was finding an unexpected joy. I'd always been happy, but I was getting happier. I was becoming more outgoing. I was holding my head higher. I was walking tall and smiling.
I spent the first 40 years of my life thinking that women who obsessed (in my mind) with their appearance were obviously letting some other part of their life go. I was wrong. You can have both. I never would have thought that wearing makeup could help all of me. I'm still a little stunned. My mother (of course...she knows all....trust me) had spent years telling me to take care of myself. Take time for me. Stop dressing like a hobo. Take care of my body. Quit smoking. She was right. She was so right. It's not about sacrificing time with your family. It's ok to be a little selfish. It's ok to take care of yourself. To do what makes you feel confident. It's ok to be pretty. It's ok to feel pretty. It doesn't mean I'm stuck up or self absorbed. It means that I want to take care of myself so I can continue to take care of my family. Plus I really like playing with makeup. 😎😎😍